The Pre 4th of July Friday Pop Quiz

Well dear readers we're approaching another holiday weekend around the corner and as such it's time to snap you out of your complacent observation mode and find out whose really been paying attention with a surprise pop quiz. The three day weekend is to home improvement what the Battle of New Orleans was to Andrew Jackson - a little extra time to make mistakes after you're supposed to be all finished. And it's with Andrews steely visage in mind that we've taken charge during long weekends past. So with that said let's take a look at some partial images from our own historical miss-steps. Simply look at the images and take your best guess on the multiple choice below. A correct answer will show you the complete picture, and incorrect answer will reveal something very disturbing indeed...

This image is:

a: fading vapor trails on lightly cloudy afternoon

b:a keen drywall finish honed from days of practice

c: a demonstration of 100 years of roofing neglect.

d: one of those texas chain saw massacre lead-ins




This coffee is...a: rich and delicious

b: bold and satisfying

c: complicated and subtle

d: straddling space, time, and two means of egress.

e: all of the above



Alli looks pleased because:
a: she sees the value of "sweat equity"

b: she sees the humor of it all

c: she has a renewed sense of pride of place

d: she got the boulder and can now get the f*%# out of the dining room floor.



This man is .....
a: reminding me just how many false promises were made

b: a fellow homeowner sharing that 'knowing' glance of too much appetite, too little meal

c. a concerned citizen keeping me and my ideals at arms length

d. my cousin Brian good Buffalo NY people

The sky is the limit

Casual observers may note the sudden shift in color spectrum seen in the new shower: from the melancholy:

before

to the ebullient:

after

This stunning transformation is by no means of lighting trickery, but rather the final peg in the cracker barrel puzzle that is the master bathroom: a shower skylight.

So I can die a happy man, for the remainder of my days will now be spent showering in the suns full color spectra.

and it opens.

So thank you Biggy, you showed me the way:

Roof in a weekend

Contrary to popular scorn and private desire we have not been sitting still this past month.... we've been hard at work on the worst of all renovation tasks: Roofing. It is clear to me now why the roofing industry has been consigned to the ex-cons and ne'er-do-wells of the building industry - it's damn hard work in a damn hot place - so if you're smart you'll get your ass on another part of jobsite quick. It's no mystery why the job site ice boxes fill up with Strohs and the porta-jons fill up with titty magazines when the roofers are on site as one so eloquently said it one day- "roofin' got a funny way of workin on man".

So, with that said, take a deep breath, plug your nose and dive with me into this cesspool of human indignity.

Friday:
well didn't do anything fiday - it was a three day weekend so we weren't sweating it.

Saturday:
The work crew arrives... and promply sets to work on the tear off - i'd like to take this moment to extole the virtures of the 100 year metal roof - ours was about 108 years old which means good for the hundy, been shit for the last 8.

the existing roof sheathing was in decent shape - a mix of random width pine boards

The view from the inside showed a certain Texas Chainsaw Massacre chic

Sunday:
The real work set in- re-sheathing and mocking up the skylights, resetting the plumbing vents.

The small square is the new shower skylight.

The big hole is the future stairwell skylight

Freshly opened...

and now with new rafters

And so the sun sets on day 2 - the new roof now somewhere close to a Georgetown house-wife: with some pretty new clothes just barely covering the years of neglect.

Monday:
Ahhh the harsh light of morn falls on the previous days work...

rollin' out the underlayment.

as the sun was setting we had just enough time to finish rolling down the underlayment and begin rolling on the roll-roof. By the time this was happening the sun had set and we have no photographic proof of the finished product. But the good news is that the roof is on an water tight. We've survived 4 storms and counting with barely a scratch - that scratch being the cut on Brian Gafney's right hand - an injury bound in tape and sealed in a glove described as "swimmy" by days end.
A big thanks to Brian Gafney, Jeff Chown and Neal Thomson for showing up to do the worst kind of work: Roofin'

Old Schoo[t]L

Yes, we're back on 2 wheels again - and just in time. It only takes one 70 degree day to remind you that you'd much rather be outside doing something fun, than inside doing something stupid. And in keeping with our theme at the house here... why buy something new and working when you can buy something old and leaky?

Enter (1) slightly tattered 1965 Vespa scooter. We'll post pictures just as soon as we smash someone's window and get us another digital camera- i figure that's kind of like paying it forward. Until then, this will have to suffice:


With imagery like that there's no wonder the vespa is still the king of cool. So who else has their feet squarely planted on the four square court of style?

Audry Hepburn

The Poor-man's Michael Cain

and, this guy that looks like Mathew McConaughy

So we're now in some pretty important company - and for at least the next couple of weeks, i anticipate getting very little accomplished.

Liberations, unwanted

Sorry kids, no shiny new pics of progress made. Local Youths saw fit to liberate my jacket and digital camera from the truck parked on the street at 5:30 in the afternoon. This was done via the "smash and grab" technique whereby three dudes watched as one dude smashed the window and grabbed the stuff. I know this because the event was witnessed by two seperate neighbors who reported to the police.

But the joke is on our young assailants as the digi-cam was 50% non-working (we'd long ago lost the feature to view our pictures) and my jacket had become a 21 century small pox blanket- what with all the carcinogens likely interwoven from our lead paint ridden lifestyle.

The cops haven't returned my phone calls... but i'm certain they've got their best men on the case. Well, at least they didn't get the Credence...



also here

this just in... the aussies are out

Pictured here left to right- Trina, Square1, Square2, Paulie (wheelchair), Kyp, and Ed.
The aussies have left the east coast for the west coast drastically reducing the per-capita cool in our neighborhood. shine on you crazy diamonds.

Thermae.

Those following along at home may have noticed that the impending completion of the new bathroom has us upping our lifestyle to the tune of a 2 bathroom house. I'd say that puts us slightly above "urban hipsters" but still tantalizingly close to yupee. It will all be kitchen some day but in the mean time we're going to make something of this unwanted downstairs bath/temporary glut of expendable space. Options include:

A work shop

It would be nice to get the tools out of the dining room, and work shops are great places to get away from actually working on the house but the room is seriously cramped and I'm just not ready [able]to grow a beard so this option looks doubtful.

A Laundry Room

Years of using a shared basement and a communal apartment laundry have taken their toll. it might be nice to spread out a little, get that Whirlpool duet all the cool kids are using or maybe even one of those 'green' laundry systems that uses no carbon footprint but instead cleans clothes with only the power of one's self worth... Seems rather a long shot, and let's not forget there is still a sewer pipe in the floor where we took out the toilet so nobody wants to hang out there too long.

A Turkish Bath

Since forever ago kings and countrymen have had entire rooms devoted to the steam bath. The Romans had their public Thermae, the Finn's have their Sauna's, hell even those old way-too-naked guys at the JCC have their Schvitz's. The water's already there... and the drains. the groundwork is in place, i think we're on to something.

he doesn't seem to mind

Mr. Belding

Spring has finally sprung here in DC and with this comes the expected arrival of cherry blossoms, In-Laws, and...Australians. We played short-notice hosts to a four Australian travelers that [claimed to] know Alli's cousin. I don't have a picture handy but this crew was equal parts:

and:

I can say confidently now that (Steve Irwin aside) Australians are some chill people. The aussie's visit coincided with an In-Laws visit as well, so, like a teenager with a self-image complex i locked myself in the bathroom for half the day in a hurried attempt to give the bathroom some proper dignity.








... that $50 pre-hung door at the home depot is looking pretty good right about now.

Lights, paint, and boot-leg building methods

The walls are green like this
the lights are cool like this

and the mirror is kinda bootleg like this:
yep, i've taken go gluing stuff together. I'm not proud, and while we do need a large mirror here my background has me wanting to frame this looking glass... expressing the hanging of a mirror on wall - not simply sticking something up... and isn't gluing something to the wall kind of like the architectural merkin of home ownership? perhaps... but until the load bearing tape comes off we'll have to hold our breath and wait - cause with a glue that has a curing cycle of 72 hours we're stuck with this for a few days.

next to godliness

The work soldiers on with this past weekend being all things toilet. Fiscal responsibility and stylistic belt-tightening has us re-using the existing toilet instead of finally finding that toilet that defines me as a person. Sour grapes indeed, but sour grapes yield sour wine, and where there's wine there's a need to micturate and finally we can do this without having to put on shoes and navigate the stairs in the middle of the night.

mysteries of the wax ring revealed...

a kingdom of 1

Casual observers may note that there is still yet no door on the bathroom. We as a couple are unwilling to accept a two party open door policy and as such have installed careful and complicated means to insure privacy and dignity- efforts arguably better spent towards actually installing a door in retrospect.